stuff about babies and toddlers part 1

On the family life blog Caroline has put down all her advice to other mums . Its a bonding experience having a child and its ones natural instinct to share knowledge and support with fellow woman. Its happened everywhere from toddler groups to the bus. I think its nice to have advice and suggestions from friends you trust and then make your own way.
I do think that motherhood is a rite of passage though and no one baby is the same so what works for your baby may not work on another. Its all about getting to know you baby or child and trial and error.
I am at the moment in a bit of a tizz about potty training. I don't really like potties and I want lily to have one of those little toilet seats and go on there. Also when is she ready? do I just take a nappy off one day and say right , tell me when you need a wee?
You see one thing I have learned from becoming a mum is that it will all become clear and Lily will tell me in her own time when she is ready. It still does not help that bit of self doubt that creeps in.
I did not take well to new motherhood and I am not ashamed to say it. I had a traumatic birth and my inability to breastfeed left me feeling low and ashamed. lily had colic and there were many , many days in her first 3 months that I wished I had never had her. Its terrible to admit but its the truth. I was pushed to the limit by it all and just wanted to run away. I felt very lonely and had no one to support me or pop in for tea. I was alone 8 hours a day with a crying baby.
hence my first bit of advice is to not read every book going and worry over your baby's differences to the norm. There is no norm. I learnt this the hard way but the minute I relaxed and was led by Lily , she relaxed and we created a little routine all of our own. Now I only do what feels right to me. I never force things.

Colic: If you are unlucky enough to have a colic baby try and remember that it will pass after 3 to 4 months. this feel s like a lifetime. Colic is not a crying baby as all babies cry. Its a baby that cries for 3 hours or more without stopping except for milk. they tend to go all the colours of the rainbow and headbutt you whilst bringing their knees up all the time. We thought Lily hated us. This is not an indication of your babies personality its a colic thing! Things that help and here's my number one tip... the hairdryer works like a dream. I know one other person that swore by it too. Its the only way I could calm Lily and eventually get her to go to sleep. i had the thing on the cool setting for hours
I also started using a drop in her formula called colief which was magic. I only found it at 10 weeks though but its very good.
I used my pouch sling constantly as did Kristian as it was the only way Lily would sleep. as soon as we put her down the screaming would continue. The movement and the closeness to us was very soothing. also I think her tummy being on mine and the soft swaying eased the colic.
It will pass.
Breast vs bottle...the endless debate
So here's what I think. breastfeeding is very good for your baby. If you are happy to breastfeed and it works for you then go for it. I will certainly try again with a new baby. I only breastfed for 4 days but it was a constant battle. my milk just never came in until day 6 I think and I was a wreck. Lily fought me tooth and nail and by the end I sat sobbing on the bed , breast exposed. This is not good for mum or baby. If its not working don't feel ashamed like I did. all that matters is that you share a bond with your baby and he / she is loved, warm and fed. I always held Lily close to me when feeding. I used SMA gold formula and tommee tippee closer to nature bottles. I am at peace with my decision now and don't feel bad as I have a healthy little girl.
I tell you what I do know though. drink lots of water , persevere with latching and get some help and support (crucial), know that there will be growth spurts so dot think your milk is running out , it just has to re adjust.

sleeping: sleep becomes a major commodity with a baby and toddler I may add. You will do anything to get some. sleeping through the night is such an overused phrase. Lily does not have any night feeds but she still wakes me in the night for her muzzie (blankie) or teething or a snotty nose or a bad dream. she goes through phases. I guess what I am saying is get used to it. your baby will cut out feed as it goes on . I really don't think dreamfeeding works. If you have a good feeding routine going and your baby is getting enough nutrition through the day she should start cutting out feeds and sleep though eventually and then she will start to teethe....

products I love:
fischer price kick and play bouncy chair. great product I could not live without. somewhere for baby to sit anywhere. at friends, in the garden , in the lounge , in the bathroom while you bath. and they can sleep in it. my best buy
bumbo chair: Lily still sits in her bumbo. some babies hate them she loved hers and sits on the kitchen counter in it.
stackable cups, fischer price rolling balls with animals in them, touch and feel books , teaset ,little push along wooden toys, baby pram, crayons and massive drawing pad all these were and are great toys that keep Lily entertained. the crayons are great she just loves drawing
simple baby body and hair wash, only in the UK but a great hypoallergenic fragrance free wash that makes the hair soft and lovely and caused no rashes and things
johnsons body cream in the tube I like this plain cream not lotion. its lovely and thick and keeps the skin looking and smelling lovely
sudocrem its a bum cream/ barrier cream but can be used for rashes and marks. i use it on myself too. it a fantastic product
pampers nappies , sainsburys wipes sorry Uk again for the wipes but I use pampers just because they fit Lily well. Its trial and error with that though I used cotton wool and water for wiping when lily was tiny though. In fact when they are tiny cotton wool and water and nappies and a bit of plain wash for the bath is all you need. some bum cream occasionally and you are good to go
ashton and parsons teething powders get them they work
tiny love symphony in motion mobile Nicola (cheeky monkeys) recommended this and since i see loads of people do. I got it and it was great Lily loved it and the music is classical and soothing. its brightly coloured so keeps their attention. she would lie in her cot for ages looking at it. we used it right up to 6 months
sheepskin for your pram this might not fly with you if you are veggie but its very warm and snugly for baby. I know its colder here but if you have a tiny baby in the cape town winter it may be a good thing. I got the treated one from the chemist and cut it to size. worked brilliantly
baby bjorn sling I loved mine and its currently in Sarah's pile of stuff for her mummy and daddy to use

weaning
quite a tricky time I thought. From 4 to 6 months we must magically know when our babies are ready for solids. cue ..panic
but you do..
I was still feeling very bad about the breastfeeding thing so I decided to go all out with weaning. haha well actually it holds a bit of truth but I really wanted to make all of Lily's food. the thought of jars makes me feel sick. saying that they are fine and very convenient its just my gag factor that comes into play. I wanted Lily to have real flavours . I wanted to know what she was eating and give her a large variety of food. Its quite easy. get yourself a little hand blender and one of those ice cube weaning trays. use your steamer in your pot or an actual steamer if you have one. then choose lots of veggies and fruit that look nice. peel , chop and steam and puree with a little of the cooking water to water it down if too thick. start with plain flavours like carrot , butternut ,sweet potato , pear , apple and when that has been accepted with no reaction you can mix flavours up a bit.
here's my favorites
pear and strawberry
butternut and pear
apple and blueberry
sweet potato and broccoli
carrot and butternut
then as 9ish months comes along start adding proteins like fish or chicken and try out cheese
I think the most important thing is to give finger foods from early on. little bits of soft fruit, toast , grated carrot or apple, peas etc

so that's my baby bit. My older baby and toddler up till 2 will come later. but as you can gather I can carry on adding every week because that's how often I learn something new.
Its a steep learning curve but its the best thing ever. Try and enjoy every minute and not worry if you have enough baby wash. you can always go out and buy. that's advice I should have taken.
all the mums that read this blog have made their own way with a little help from their friends and family and all the future mums will do the same. In the end I can give you all the advice in the world but you will probably just appreciate me making you a cup of tea and laughing and crying along with you.
Here's to the mums.....