in memory of

Kristian's Grandad, great grandad John, who passed away yesterday just 17 months after his beloved wife Joan. What an amazing man he was. At times stubborn as a mule as his family would attest to but such a gentleman. We saw him a month or so ago to have lunch and he arrived in his suit and tie as he usually does. He drove his much loved Rover until the day he died.

My absolute best memory of him was when he got his new car ..a rover of course, and there was a silver badge on the one side of the boot. He was unhappy with the lack of symmetry so he set about searching for a badge to even things out.

His daughter and Kristian's mum , Michele told us you will not believe what he has got and upon arriving at his house one day we saw a silver playboy bunny badge glued to back of 84 year old mans car in Bournemouth!. he was completely unaware of the playboy bunny logo of course. he just liked it!

He was born in London and lived his youth there before going to Bournemouth with Joan and his 3 children. He fought in world war 2 and he was so fascinating. the stories he had to tell were just riveting.

I will miss the times we go out for lunch together , but for Kristian he has lost his father figure.

we will always remember and love you John

all about me

Pia had this on her blog. So I stole it. sorry Pia.

1. What time did you get up this morning? 6:30 and dozed whilst ceebeebies played in the background till 7:00. Dont be judging now I need that tv in the bedroom!

2. How do you like your steak? medium rare..anything else is just not worth eating

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? the time travellers wife. oh how I cried

4. What is your favorite TV show? at the moment strictly come dancing is about to start so that. and mock the week and ugly betty and How I met your mother and the inbetweeners... you get the picture. I like tv

5. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be? Totally 100% Cape Town

6. What did you have for breakfast? museli and yoghurt with a little sprinkle of blueberries on top and a cup of strong tea(or 2)

7. What is your favorite cuisine? hmm I am a bit of a foodie. sushi , asian ,Italian , French

8. What foods do you dislike? brussel sprouts. totally disgusting!

9. Favorite Place to Eat? a good restaurant with my friends or family. its about the whole package

11.What kind of vehicle do you drive? Daewoo matiz

12. What are your favorite clothes? jeans

13. Where would you visit if you had the chance? My next places I want to work towards are Geeece and New York but I have lots on my list

14. Cup 1/2 empty or 1/2 full? half full. I have these glasses, they are rose tinted

15. Where would you want to retire? at the seaside with a little place to live where I could cook and be happy

16. Favorite time of day? the evening when the sun is just setting especially in summer. I find it so tranquil

17. Where were you born? Mowbray hospital , Cape Town

18. What is your favorite sport to watch? favorite , sport , watch...sorry I dont understand the question

19. Who do you think will not tag you back? Look may I just rant about these questions yet again NOTE TO ME ME MAKERS STOP PUTTING THIS QUESTION AND THE NEXT 2 IN!!!

20. Person you expect to tag you back first? See above!

21. Who are you most curious about their responses to this? See above!

22. Bird watcher? woman?...no....... fowls?...no

23. Are you a morning person or a night person? I really do both equally. I am moderate

24. Do you have any pets? No I would love some though

25. Any new and exciting news you’d like to share? I am leaving for Cape Town in November

26. What did you want to be when you were little? famously I said I wanted to be a part time astronaut when doing a little quiz thing with Caroline, but I wanted to be a teacher. still would like that

27. What is your best childhood memory? swimming all day , plettenberg bay hoilidays, playing till the early hours making up stories which we acted out , going shopping with my mum and brother

28. Are you a cat or dog person? oh how difficult. I love both but love cats a bit more. have always been obsessed with cats. I broke my front tooth trying to catch a cat to stroke when I was 4. bit of useless info for you

29. Are you married? yes , recently

30. Always wear your seat belt? Always. i always obey the law

31. Been in a car accident? just the one when a wooden plank came flying nto my windscreen

32. Any pet peeves? Oh yes Many. mean nastiness. all other drivers ,snooty customers ,rude teenagers ,insensitivity , the pull top juice carton....

33. Favorite Pizza Toppings? avo and bacon yum. and rocket goats cheese pine nuts and caramalized onion

34. Favorite Flower? tulip

35. Favorite ice cream? coffee or pistachio or mango

36. Favorite fast food restaurant? indian

37. How many times did you fail your driver’s test? never. passed fist time

38. From whom did you get your last email? facebook . someone I dont know commented on a photo I commented on

39. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? my card is maxed sadly at British airways.But I would love to go to bluwater and just spend £1000 on pretty clothes and things. just for kicks. we can dream

40. Do anything spontaneous lately? yes went to the beach suddenly the other day and thats an hour away. not huge spontenaity

41. Happy with your job? childrearing..yes. shop assistant..no

42. Broccoli? yes I eat it lightly steamed

43. What was your favorite vacation? europe and the UK when I was 10. It so sticks in my mind

44. Last person you went out to dinner with? the dinner club girls to a tapas place in covent garden

45. What are you listening to right now? beginning of ugly betty (I must hurry)

46. What is your favorite color? red orange or green

47. How many tattoos do you have? no none .

48. How many are you tagging for this quiz? FFS

49. What time did you finish this quiz? 21:10

50. Coffee Drinker? No headaches but a huge tea drinker

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Playschool

There she is, my little munchkin, all ready to go to playschool. She was a little worried the day before it started and kept complaining of a tummy ache (so her fathers child!) but with that she was excited as well.

When we arrived she clung to my hand and did not want to go and sit at any of the little tables that where set up with various activities and toys so I sat at the table with the blocks to fill out my various forms whilst she settled in and played a bit. One of the 3 lovely ladies that work there came over to her to ask her if she would like to paint which was so perfect as painting is her favorite thing to do! She happily held her hand and went off to put on the apron and paint. I bit my wobbly lip , handed in my forms and went over to her to say goodbye telling her I would be back at the end to fetch her. Once again she had the worried look but she did not cry and off I went blubbing as I walked down the streets of hither green.

God how I watched those minutes tick by. time slowed considerably and then I fetched her. Kristian came with me and we stood outside with the other mums and dads. when she saw us she ran to me but would not speak to me at all until we were half way home. the only tears we had were when she asked Kristian if he had missed her and he assured her we did miss her and she told him she missed us and began to cry. its enough to break a mothers heart!

Once she got going telling us the things she did she chatted away for ages. she painted 3 pictures and sang songs. they had a story and she played with the threading beads with another little girl (who apparently did not know the words to the song either)

So all in all it went well I think. We will see this week , now that she knows I am leaving, that she will perhaps cry a little. she does amaze me as she is so grown up with her attitude towards things. she knows exactly why he must go to school and whats expected of her. I am so proud of her and I know she is just going to love school.

As for me , I still have a huge lump in my throat, even as I write this , but I am learning to let go little by little . I also have this excitement in me. when will she write her name or draw a figure that does not look like a blob. these things will come and I will be joyful.

the first cut

This is the week my little girl will leave me for the first time and start her school adventure. She starts a little playgroup just down the road from us as of Friday. She will only be going once a week at first and as soon as she has settled they will give her some other mornings.

I know its absolutely silly for me to feel so forlorn but I do. On the one hand I know she will love it and it will be so good for her. she is in need of some social interaction. I also know that I will love it soon too with a little time to myself , but for now I feel downhearted.

Perhaps its because Lily and I have been constantly together since she was conceived. I have been far away from family and friends who would have her for a few hours so its just been me and her. when I have been away she stays with her daddy.

Now someone else will have a little part of her. They will see how she reacts to something funny or sad. I wont be there to laugh with her or wipe her tears. I know slowly I will lose more and more time with her and I am well aware that that is my job. to prepare her for life.

a small part of me in the background cant wait to see what she will learn and what she will bring home for me to stick on our fridge , but I think that part may stay hidden for a week or two whilst I adjust. So for now I am forlorn.