Fridays photo...on Monday... faces

My favorite face in the whole world. Taken with my brothers sony camera when in Cape Town now in March.. . lying on the bricks at the pool

In memory of Joan Hartley

On Good Friday at 3;30 in the morning Kristians nan , Joan ,passed away after a long battle with altzheimers disease. It was not the disease that killed her but a urinary tract infection and eventual inability to eat or swallow. We have been driving back and forth to Bournemouth and Kristian got to see his nan the night before she passed.

she was not the nan he knew when he saw her though and has not been for coming on 3 years. It is true that she was 82 and had a long life with a husband that adored her and 3 children and 3 grandchildren. She was blessed to have had that and they blessed to have had her , but what a way to end ones life.

For me the meaning of true love was never more meaningful. Joan and John were married for 62 years . They lived through the war in London and spent the first years of their marriage there until they moved to Bournemouth.In the 11 years i have know them they were never apart and I am led to believe that it was always this way. Since Joans diagnosis John has cared for her first at home and then for the past 2 years in a care home where he spent most of his days sitting with her and talking to her even though she no longer knew who he was. He once told me that when he got married it was for better or worse and he would be with her till the end.

her final 3 days were spent in hospital where he held vigil by her bedside barely sleeping till she passed with him at her side holding her hand. I am sure her passing was peaceful with him at her side.

We had her funeral on Friday and it was comforting for her family. Lily , her great grandaughter, sat quietly in the back with me and we said our goodbyes. She was a wonderful , caring lady. Always immaculately dressed. she would give you anything if you said you liked it and all she wanted was for everyone to be happy. rest in peace , Joan xxxxx W

two weeks of bliss

We are back in Blackheath trying to catch up on our sleep after a fantastic 2 weeks in beautiful Cape Town. It went all too quickly but I got so much of the wedding planning done and had some lovely times in between. Lily reconnected with her nana(nan) grandad (daddad) her uncle Andrew (drew) and all her honorary aunties and uncles. She had a ball and has developed in leaps and bounds in the 2 weeks. Kristian was so shocked that she had started speaking so well in the 2 weeks. Her new word is no and very occasionally , yes , and she has no problem using them to tell you if something is not going the way she would have anticipated.

I got to spend time with my parents and brother as well as my dearest friends , Steven and Veronica and Caroline. I went to a baby shower for my friend Nicci. ( good luck Nicci and Clive , we are waiting for your news!!!) I had a lovely reunion with friends Gavin, Catherine, Jason , Sandi , Susie, Clive , Nicci , Steve and Ron , in the form of a braai with many laughs. It was great to catch up with everybody . Babies had grown since I last saw them. Baby Amy Avnit was a week old when I last saw her and now she is 6 months+. the most adorable little munchkin with such a smiley face. Max Davis was 6 months when he left London and we had seen him weekly. he is now 9 months and starting to crawl. hes always been the sweetest baby.

I went to a raucous dinner club and got lovely and tipsy on mojitos and geisha life cocktails and ate lovely food. had a laugh with the girls which I needed to do so much. Its a lovely dinner club and the fact I am not attending the next one makes me sad and very jealous!

Then the pinnacle for me was going to Madame Zingaras theatre of dreams. It is an old "spieltent" (mirror tent) made in the 1920's. It has velvet canopies and stained glass windows and mirrors everywhere, as soon as you walk in its like entering another time . The evening is complete entertainment from the divine food served in 4 courses by fabulously dressed waiters to the stunning entertainment provided by cirque de soleil type performers and a wonderful bunch of divas with amazing voices. We all wore different hats and masks purchased at the shop and just had an evening of pure fantasy and entertainment. It was without a doubt one of the best things I have ever been to. The good news is that after a 3 month stint in Durban its coming to Hyde park for the Christmas winter wonderland. Just like the old travelling circus's would.

Between all this merriment I arranged a lovely man to marry us in august, a bagpiper for the ceremony, invitations, music, flowers , dresses and a beautiful cake. shoo....I feel tired just telling you all about it. I will follow on with all the photos . To everyone who made my short holiday special , thank you, It always lifts my spirits and fills my heart when I see all of you again

xxx

Lily and mummy at boulders beach in Simonstown having lunch

Lily loves cats Grandad told lily to lie on the bricks to feel the water, so she did (above and below) In the pool with nana Lily and mummy after a swim Aaaahhh how I love the sunshine With Leila and Drew walking down to boulders beach

Grandad and Lily on the beach Suzaan , Caroline and Susie at Geisha Wendy and a very "eina" AnchenCaroline doing what sh does best, taking millions of photos of anything that moves or in this case not Lily with her bucket and spade Little girl after her mummys heart

I am waiting for photos of madame zingara from V so will post those soon. Not many picturs of Ron actually (how cunning) or Stevie. I will get you next time guys

photo friday. peace

PEACE IS ........................... A SLEEPING BABY

Why?

Why is it that as soon as your baby heads towards 18 months you become horrendously broody for another baby. What hormone is this? I went from only having one baby after Lily was born . I was adamant that I was never doing that again.
Then I started thinking ...ok I would like her to have a little brother or sister maybe when she is 4. Now I think no ..I want one NOW!!!!

So perhaps my original dream of having 3 children will happen . hee hee (not)
I mean I don't even have a bedroom for the one I have now
Tips on how to squash broodiness will be much appreciated
xxx

If you are having a blue monday

heres something to lift your spirits.

my life size cut outs of him certainly do.

Mr Patrick Dempsey in Versace. Can you ask for better?

wobbly

I am having one of those evenings where I feel wobbly inside. Do you ever have them? Usually mine are hormone induced and sometimes lack of sleep. Being the mother of a 18 month old ,these occur fairly frequently.

We have just come back from spending a weekend in Bournemouth with Kristian's mum. We left on Friday and arrived about 5 ish. Lily had some dinner and a run around before bathing and going off to bed. we then had a lovely stir fry dinner and some champagne .

Next day Kristian and I went off by ourselves. this is very rare. you may have gathered as much from my blogging. We left our little baby with her nan and went off into Bournemouth to walk around the shops. We walked , slowly. Occasionally we held hands with each other (awwwwww) In the shops I could browse the rails in my own time. then we had a coffee in Starbucks. There we just bought the coffee and went to a table , sat down and chatted and drank the stuff. You really don't realise how much changed when a baby joins a couple. usually one of us gets the coffees whilst the other one locates a highchair and finds a suitable table where a highchair can fit comfortably. We then settle Lily , get out her juice , raisins , berries etc. coffees arrive and we gulp them between getting berries , picking up dollies etc... you get the picture

Not that I would change my life with Lily for the world just an observation. It is nice to have some time to yourself and as a couple. I think its really important.

anyhoo I digress

We then went to the movies...YAY!!!! we saw juno which i highly recommend . I loved it.

then onto wagamama the Japanese noodle bar. I love noodle places.

here we are having our noodlesIt was delish. We had a lovely evening. I feel so tired now for some reason (cue the wobbly)

On a very exciting note I am seeing some of you in 6 sleeps as Lily and I will be winging our way to the beautiful Cape Town next Saturday. I cannot wait to see everyone. I feel quite emotional thinking about it. I have a week to fill with packing. I hope it goes really fast.

Lily's little teeth and mouth are dong much better now after her awful fall. she has split the gum on one of them though which is horrid but I don't think its sore anymore. You have to have nerves of steel to be a parent I tell you.

Lily was 18 months on Wednesday. heading fast towards 2. Its mind blowing how fast it goes. She had her little friend Ami around in the week. Ami's mum , Leigh and I met when the babies were 6 weeks old. they are 2 days apart.

It was really funny seeing them play. Lily is quite timid and Ami runs around entertaining everyone. Poor Lily just stood at the wall clutching her beloved dolly staring at this little girl playing with her toys. It took a good half hour of getting her settle into it for her to start playing with Ami. eventually they were running into the bedroom together bring out books for me to read to them. It was ever so sweet....

Here's a few more photos of my munchkin on Blackheath and bouncing on my trampoline

So thats my news. Apologies as I think its a bit all over the place but I am tired

xxx

fridays photo

my contribution this week is taken in my garden.... haha no not really (I wish)

It was taken in April 2007 in greenwich park. they have a special section called the garden which has these stunning seasonal beds . they also have ducks and deer. its one of my favorite places.

here are some tulips (one of my favorite flowers) with some massive ,old trees in the background

and heres a picture of Lily in said garden later that day

fridays photo

Could I begin this by saying that I dont own a fancy camera but I like taking photos of interesting things. I was on my way out yesterday to take a photo at the top of greenwich park of canary wharf. However fate had other plans and my baby fell and knocked all her bottom teeth wonky. cue blood , tears.. and that was just me!!!

So heres my attempt for this week...

Taken in 2006 at the tate modern, London

A special exhibition. On the side is a young man "building" himself up to be a father

If you are my valentine...

You get heart shaped toast with vanilla and strawberry jam and a cup of rooibos tea for your breakfast

Happy valentines day to all... may your day be filled with all sorts of love

xxx

spring fever

Its very early I know, as usually I am shivering away and moaning about british winters at this time of year, but its quite mild this year and our beautiful tree in our back garden is startig to blossom. What a thing to see every morning as you lift the blind. I dont know what the trees called perhaps aunty Sandra can help me out as she told me what it was when she visited

Oh we went for a walk yesterday to M & S (where else) . I got the buggy out and off we went. Me pushing buggy helped along by Lily. I dont think I will be taking it along for short walks any longer!

Look what I did!!!!!!!!!!!

with help from my fabulous guru I got this skin . I did something to the HTML, I got rid of widgets and got this pretty new layout. I am on a high. I have come so far.....
Thanks C you are a star..mwah
xxx

my belt is tightening

So, We are getting married, this you all know. Weddings require money and a fair amount of it too, hence we are on a strict fiscal budget. Every penny and pound has been allocated and there is very little room for movement. I know I am making it sound awful but its actually been a really good thing to do, Like a financial spring clean if you will.
We know exactly how much we spend and we still have money to save for our wedding which is amazing I think considering I am not working.

So Kristian and I have a spring in our step now every time we underspend on something. I can see him literally rubbing his hands in glee.
We are well on our way now and I have begun to get excited about the wedding . I have a few meetings set up for March and I cant wait to see the venue again just to remind myself of it and its wonderful soul. We have decided on a colour scheme of deep reds and maroons and I really hope I can stick to this and not try and throw extra colours in as I am prone to doing. in fact my bridal horoscope ( yes , really) says taurus: your style : luxurious your colour: velvety rose your challenge : sticking with your vision . even as I read that I thought , hmmmm they say velvety rose.. I love the sound of that and I do like that colour. It also says in that same piece that taureans have an instinct for being brides. I do hope that this is true.

That brings me to traditions. I do love tradition but I am not a traditionalist where this whole marriage thing is concerned. If i was I would not have a little toddler running around. So We made a few decisions regarding the wedding. I didnt want to throw my bouquet and have a garter taken off. I mean I am trying to lose weight and plan to squish myself into some spanx pants and a corset. I dont want people seeing down there where my secrets lurk. I origionally was not going to have a bouquet but then my friend jenny asked me what I was going to do with the other arm and hand that was not attached to my dad. She thought it may swing wildly. So for the safety of all my guests I am having a bouquet and I am glad as now i have decided I want one. I love flowers.

My belt has tightened in more ways than one as I lost a couple of kgs this week too and went down to the next clothing sixe ( albeit a bit snug) Things are looking up.
I am off to surf the internet now and confuse myself even further.
PS If any of my SA friends know of a good DJ please let me know.

lots of love
the bride to be
xxx

one week later

aplogies for my lack of posts. shortly after my last post Kristian got the infamous norovirus(winter vomiting disease) , it has been all over England with a record 3 million people off work a couple of weeks back. I can only assume he got it whilst at the swimming pools. Thus I spent most of last week bleaching everything all the time and washing towels and bedding to kill any germs. I was not going to get this and I was very worried about Lily getting it as dehydration is such a problem. I succeeded in my attempts though and we avoided it. Kristian however was very sick and at one point I found him crawling along the floor on all fours ,trying to get to the bathroom I assume, telling me he was dying. the urge to take a photo was great but I resisted and helped him instead.

To get away from the sickness Lily and I met Jenny in London on Wednesday. It was a really chilly day and we met on the south bank under the london eye. we had a bite to eat and a warming drink before wrapping up and walking along the river in search of the borough market. The market was closed bar a few beautiful , fresh fruit and veg stores but it was great walking along the river and drinking in the sights. It is indeed true that when a man is tired of London he is tired of life , as there is always something new to see.

We then found a lovely patisserie near the market called patisserie Lila and had a lovely pot of tea with little warmed tea cups and shared naughty something. It was so quirky and beautifully decorated. I sat at the table with the huge bowl of tulips . divine. Its the kind of place that makes you feel like owning a little shop like that.

spring is making an early entrance again as our tree is starting to blossom and all the crocuses are popping up. I just hope they can survive any cold snaps . Spring is my favorite season here. It gives your spirits just the lift they need after the winter.

Little Lily is very well. chatting to me all the time and now even calling my name when she wants me to come and give her something. I can barely believe how quickly she is beginning to talk its quite staggering. We are both very excited to come to Cape Town and I tell her about everyone we are going to see and all the things we will do. I can't wait!!!!

I see tomorrow is super Tuesday in the states where the republican and democrat presidential candidates are voted for, but even more exciting and satisfying is the fact its shrove Tuesday. Yes, pancakes for all. I love pancakes and they hold a very lovely memory for me as my mum makes them every sunday for dinner. So those of you that are going to indulge along with me ....enjoy!!!! Lily and mummy is patisserie Lila Lily kissing simba the lion cub

Lily under the London eye with big ben in the background

a family outing

On Sunday we had a proper family outing. Kristian , Lily and I do everything together so you might argue every day is an outing but on Sunday it felt like a proper one.
We went swimming you see. we had to get Kristian a pair of swimming shorts as he has none. Its taken lots of coaxing on my half to get him to the swimming pools.

We got ourselves all kitted out , lily in her little red and orange striped swimming costume. The pools were packed so we had to wait 5 minutes and then we were in. Our little girl loved it, she jumped in into her daddy's arms...alot, she put her arms out in front of her to swim and we zoom her around the pool, at times she seemed to want to swim away from us. We had 45 minutes of constant laughing and we all enjoyed it so much. when we emerged we were prune like.
It was a lovely day that continued as Lily's mood was just amazing , she kept us entertained the whole day.
I really needed it actually. I think at times we all need to be reminded of what we have and not concentrate so on what we don't have. I have a lovely little family of three who I love dearly.

crisis over

I have been offline for over 48 hours. When it began I was mildly irritated and started to fiddle with wires, pull wires out and jam in forcefully, swear and curse my limited computer knowledge. Then it continued , as many times as I tried to connect it would not work.

Now a slight sweat is breaking out, I have sweaty palms , shallow breathing, you know the sort of thing.

Since then I have spent 2 hours of my life on the phone to Bombay (again) and finally after much fannying about they have fixed it. when it connected the relief and joy that washed over me was immense.

how I missed you...

This has made me realise that I cannot live my life like this. The computer is my life line to everyone I love and care about. I connect with them on a daily or weekly basis. Even something small like receiving a photo of a friends baby or a little email from someone wondering how I am means so much to me. I want to be near these people to connect on a personally.

Even by being offline for 2 days I missed the run up to a dear friends scan . My mum missed her daily dose of Lily and Lily missed her daily dose of her mad singing nana.

I miss all these people and want to live my life along with Kristian and Lily near them. It must happen soon or I will be very , very sad.

Tonight I have had my fix of my mum and dad and a lovely chat with Caroline (until Amy woke up :( hope she went back down nicely) All is back to normal and for now my link is secure.

Lily and I had an hour at the park yesterday as the sun emerged from the grey skies for the day. We saw the ducks and ran around and then went to the playpark. I felt so sorry for Lily as she has started to show an interest in other children. She was going right up to them and even tried to touch the one little girls hand. I let her have a go on the slide and she loved it having many , many more goes after it. I must make an effort to find a toddler group I like so she can socialize a bit with other kids.

So thats me back with you all , I know its only 2 days but it felt like a lifetime to me. Technology is a fine thing indeed

kisses for baby

Lily with her baby doll

My life as a mum

After my adorable daughter pulled almost every book from my bookshelf today, I found a book I was given in pregnancy called the yummy mummy's survival guide. I remember finding it mildly amusing pre baby, however, yesterday when I was reading bits of it I found myself in fits of giggles. You see things change once you have tried this motherhood thing out.

I am so lucky to be a mummy and Lily's mummy to boot. I want all my friends to have the same experience as its the best thing you will ever do. I have moments most days where I can just kiss and cuddle Lily to death and 10 minutes later I want to cry in frustration as she has pulled all the books from the bookcase!

In one section of the above mentioned book she gives you a list of things to do while you are pregnant. To quote " Even if you don't feel like doing the things suggested below,please drag yourself off the couch and try one as it might be the last chance you get to"

here's a few that applied to me that I could not be bothered to drag myself up for.

read a magazine from front to back. no pauses

Go to the loo when you need to , and on your own. from now on you will only go when it suits your baby and you will rarely , if ever, be able to go without a baby in a bouncy chair for company. In my case I had that and now i have a toddler staring at me saying wee wee.

Go to the cinema. every day, go, go ,go. peace popcorn and pure escapism bliss
I have been 3 times since I had Lily

have a leisurely shower and wash your hair slowly

HAVE A LIE IN please, you may be uncomfortable and just want to get up but force yourself. just lie there..

shop very , very slowly. window shop , look at anything you want to. have a coffee and then carry on shopping. just because you can

there were quite a few more but those resonated with me. Never would I swop what I have now for a lie in. but at times I dream of my former, lazy life .

As for this week as a mum, its been quiet. Kristian is back at work and working hard so he is gone all day. After Christmas holidays its very difficult to get into the swing of things. For the first time in my life I get very lonely. I long to go for tea and a toasted sandwich with my mum, or coffee and a little cake with my friends and chat about things we chat about .I have gone the whole week seeing no one but Lily all day. The weather has been horrid which stops us doing things. We did have a nice sunnyish day on Wednesday and we went to the park and ran around, looked at the flowers and the ducks and deer.

Lily is becoming increasingly vocal and is saying so many words. No linking of the words yet but she tries to say most things I say. I have an inkling the terrible twos are on their way. Today we had the most awful 30 second tantrum with kicking and screaming only to be followed by hugs and kisses. If there is one thing Lily loves its hugs , kisses and blowing kisses.

We are very tired parents though as Lily has been teething terribly and is cutting her first molars. She has the bottom two already and this has led to her being very wakeful shall we say. waking at 6 this morning. I am not used to it since she has been sleeping till 7 :30 so I have lost and hour and a half !!
I wonder when children are old enough not to keep you from precious sleep?
I feel I have spent many, many hours leaning over a wooden cot patting her back to settle her.

My healthy eating is going very well and I feel really good. eating wholesome , unprocessed food has been brilliant. what has really surprised me is how much I enjoy not eating meat. I am not vegetarian but with cooking for Kristian its just not worth the hassle to cook some chicken for me so I have embraced the veggie. It feels like the meat was pulling me down in a way. I cant really explain it but I am loving it and the thought of chicken is making me feel a bit ill. I am sure all this will pass soon enough but for now I have discovered veggies and salads that I love. This week I am having celariac for the first time. Par boiled then tossed in some olive oil with salt and black pepper. We had the most sublime roasted butternut and beetroot tossed in honey and olive oil as well. veggie lasagne. large mushrooms stuffed with cous cous and veggies topped with goats cheese. Trout , salmon and prawns. Its all delicious. I highly recommend it to anyone.

So here hoping this coming week sees me making an effort to go out more and do things and more importantly here's hoping the weather perks up. I need that happy vitamin D.

I love my mummy and daddy's bed

yesterday things went quiet and I went to look for Lily. This is what I found.

She had arranged the pillows to her satisfaction, pulled the duvet up and snuggled up. 10 minutes later she was having her nap

Very tired obviously!

Im feeling virtuous

This past week has seen my little family begin a healthy eating programme and begin recycling everything.

On Monday we began eating lots of salads and veggies as well as eliminating meat from our diet. We have had some fabulous salmon and trout this week as well as a butternut roast veg patty thing that was divine. I am drinking water and taking vitamins so I hope my system will be on top form before I know it.

We also began recycling. this was not a decision I made but rather one that the council thrust upon me. I am very happy though as its something I have wanted to do properly for a while. We have a kitchen caddy for all our food waste and that will be composted by the council. All our plastics paper etc. will also be recycled leaving us with only polystyrene and waxed cardboard that is non recyclable. oh and nappies. Oh dear I am adding to the worlds destruction. If I ever have another baby I will invest in some nice shaped re usables.

Last weekend we went to Verwood to visit Kristian's mum for the weekend. Had a lovely time and on the Sunday we went to the marwell zoological park. It was really lovely and Lily had a ball looking at all the animals and birds and running around pointing. She is very good at her animal noises now and lots of psss psss and the like were flying about. I loved the giraffes the best and left the rest of my party standing when I saw them. I swear I broke into a run (not pretty) and knocked some small children flying. The park is really big and even though I am not a fan of captive animals , they have a large space and are working hard to preserve certain species via breeding.

The giraffes have some massive ground and an indoor bit and they are the most beautiful creatures with their huge eyes and long eyelashes.

Lily is growing in leaps and bounds. I can't keep up with her. She is just interacting like a child now not a baby. She copies everything we do from standing with her hands on her hips, crossing her arms , saying ssshhhh and putting her finger on her mouth. she astounds me with it all. I guess why we all believe our children are gifted is because we cannot believe that anyone elses child could ever be so clever.

her vocabulary is growing by the day. from just a few words she is heading towards about 10 I can hear. she says berries ( her fav fruit) ball, woof woof, daddy, dad dad (grandad) , yes (with a nodding head) tea ( oh dear I wonder why) boobs ( yes really *blush) and some I cant think of.

she is such a loving little soul and gives us kisses and hugs all day long. In fact she kisses everything at the moment and makes a lovely smacking noise as her lips hit the object...mwah

i could go on forever but suffice to say she is delightful. she has a new duvet in her cot now and is sleeping much better under it. she snuggles in and looks very comfy in there. She got a new book for Christmas from aunty Caroline and uncle Craig that arrived last week. Its a hit guys. I must have read it to her over 50 times. its got farm babies in it so we moo and baa baa. she fetches it and then must sit on my lap while I read. At the end I always close the books and say " the end" she always looks back at me and laughs. Its such a lovely thing to read to your children and I believe there is something you can read at any age.

This weekend has been quiet with us going into Greenwich for a look around on Saturday whilst Kristian did something at work and then today we did a bit of bluewater shopping. I got Lily some reins. One thing I have learned from parenting is to never judge others parenting choices. I hate those reins but I am in a situation now where I live in a big city in terrible times and I cant afford to lose her. she is desperate to run and walk and I need to give her that Independence and freedom whilst ensuring her safety. poor thing

I am also waiting for Laura Ashley to phone me re a cv I handed in but I waited the whole week and nothing, I feel quite disappointed as i would love to work there and I really need to find some work now. perhaps I will still have to resort to sainsburys.

I just want to give my congratulations to Nicola and Ewan and big brother Dylan on the Birth of Keiren Lewis Colin Urquart. I hear he is a lovely size . I hope he brings you much joy and the first weeks allow you a speedy recovery Nicola and little crying( the baby ,not you)

Also a speedy recovery to Craig who is very Ill in hospital. hope is passes soon and you can be back to yourself asap.

I will leave you with many photos as per usual...

xx