its one of those months

You know those days where every bird is singing, the sun is shining and everything seems bright and beautiful. where are those days? they have abandoned me.

I am of course extremely depressed after a lovely holiday and suffering from withdrawal at my family and friends being so far away. I am comfort eating this week. I have a stash of lovely sweet things and as soon as I feel tearful I eat something!! Granted i think this can only cause more tears in the long run , probably in some awful marks and spencers changing room.

Over and above this down state the world keeps conspiring and throwing things I hate at me. the first being 2 days after I arrived back. Kristian was tucked up safely at work and I was in the kitchen about to feed Lily lunch. strolling over to the sink I thought " whats that"
At this point let me explain that I have arachnophobia. Spiders send me into uncontrollable shaking and crying.
Yes people a big, big spider was in my sink. not a normal size one. my heart started pounding and the sweating and crying was setting in. armed with only a hot tap and a plastic spoon I proceeded to bash this thing manically and spray it with hot water. at this point my plug had plunged down and when i was certain the thing was dead ( lots of legs were everywhere) I set about trying to pull up my plug with only a kitchen spoon.

So I set about my misery again unable to taste the sweet treat I was having to help me through the spider trauma due to my 10 million ulcers in my mouth and weird cut tongue. things started to look a bit better when Kristian and I went out to buy Lily her birthday gift ( a trike) a more upbeat post will follow this about that. We then had lunch with our friends Gav and Cath and Jason and Sandi in Blackheath village on Sunday and that was also lovely. and I had a lovely afternoon singing session and lunch in the park with Cath and Max which was also lovely.
But then the universe though NO. we must put something else in her way

As you may all know we are wanting to move to a 2 bedroom place. we live in a very expensive part of SE London and our flat is lovely. it was a bargain at the time. So we email our landlords to say we want to move and will not be renewing. OK they say so we must be out by 25 September but he will give a month over but no rollover leases anymore.
Panic stricken we begin to look around at places and very soon realize that the compromise we have to make for an extra bedroom is extreme. We went to look at a place in Lewisham ,which should have tipped me off already, it was diabolical. I just came home and cried and cried.
After a lot of talking and planning we have decided to remain here in our flat.
suits me as I hate any sort of change and I know the area. We will now have a bit of money left at month end as well which was the major problem.

I am hoping today is a better day. so far I feel upbeat as I don't need to pack or move AGAIN and the sun is shining. Lily looks so cute reading her book she found in the bookshelf. Wit her around you cant be blue for long.....